A Different Viewpoint

 This holiday season I have heard several people, friends and strangers alike, of my vintage say they didn’t have any Christmas spirit this year.  I was one of those people.  For some reason all the magic of the season just seemed to allude me.

Is it because we have been dealing with health issues?  Is it because we don’t go out and about as much as we used to?  Is it because we have been hearing and seeing all things Christmas since before Halloween?  (Thanks a lot Kroger for the very sad commercial played almost non-stop for weeks.). What in the world was wrong with us?

I thought about it and decided to just go with it and see what happened, see if the conundrum changed with time and what changed it, if anything.  So, I just plodded along.  I watched every sappy, predictable Hallmark-esque movie out there.  That certainly didn’t help.  I read, kept to my usual schedule which I am trying to tweak BTW, and just kept on keeping on.  

Then we attended church on Christmas Eve.  We always go to church on Christmas Eve.  Back before Bean was born we went to midnight mass but after baby came we started going to 4 pm mass which is traditionally our children’s mass.  

So, this year as usual we were in our usual pew at 3:30 pm and, as usual, I sat and took in the feel of  it all — all the bells and smells.  I am so at peace when I am in our church, I can’t really describe it, but it is a feeling I don’t get anywhere else.  The church was full — attendance at that service was 212 souls — lots of kiddos, lots of noise and yet I sat there in my peaceful state just soaking it all up.

And it hit me.

I hadn’t lost my Christmas spirit — my Christmas spirit had just ehanged, evolved so to speak, and I was looking for it in all the wrong places. I assume my age, life experiences, changes I see happening all played a part in this new revelation.  I realized that while I was missing all the trappings of our American Christmases I was being shown what it is like to bask in the REAL reason for the season — the birth of our saviour, of course, without saying — but the inescapable, overwhelming feeling of gratitude that goes along with being humbled at the foot of the cross.  

I realized then that my spirit was back— it was different, yes, not chaotic and filled with lights and tinsel, but quiet — the climax of the Advent season where we sat waiting for the blessed event, in quiet and awe.  

I think this is the very first time I have REALLY experienced the feeling of the quiet of Advent and I will say it was awesome.  All the materialism of commercial Christmas replaced with the quiet and waiting —difficult to describe but so wonderful to experience.

So, to all those people who were lamenting the loss of their “spirit” I will just say — it wasn’t gone, it was just different — a better different — and I certainly hope this feeling stays with me well into the New Year.