Weight Loss -- It Is Such a Heavy Subject

I have weight issues.  I suspect I am not alone.

I have dietary issues.  Again, probably not alone.

I have cooking issues.  Ditto.

I have tried to solve the problem and on one hand, I did and on the other hand, not so much.

I have carried too much weight for a LONG time.  My knees, ankles and hips are paying the price.  I decided to follow my daughter down the Keto road.  The goal to lose about 150 million pounds and to break my sugar addiction.  I have lost 7.5 lbs and keep gaining and losing the same last two over and over again.  My clothes are loser though.  I don't get it.  So, I didn't exactly lose those millions of pounds but I did successfully break the sugar addiction.  My guilty pleasure is cookies -- not cake, candy or pies -- just cookies.  I haven't had one in over a month.  I don't crave them anymore.  I think that is a success that should be rewarded -- with jewelery not cookies!

I get easily confused about "eating plans" AKA diets.  I was raised to believe  you eat a balanced diet (no cookies aren't a food group), you eat a normal serving and you get on with life.  That is what I have always done until I wanted to lose weight a LONG time ago.  Then I went on a reduced calorie diet and I lost lots of weight but I think that deeply ingrained the "diet" mentality in me.  I have tried them all.  I have journaled my food, counted every grain of anything I put in my mouth and wrote it down.  When I reached 1200 calories I was done.  If that was at breakfast -- too bad so sad.  There was the grapefruit thing, the high protein-low carb thing, the egg and grapefruit thing -- there has always been a "thing".

I was the down the rabbit hole.  I gained weight easily, had two kids, had forgotten how to eat correctly.

I am trying to recover that knowledge.

I don't think the Keto diet is eating correctly but after a month I did break the cookie/sugar addiction and now the only thing I am looking at is how much "sugar" I am eating and by sugar I mean added sugars and starch.  I am not ready to give up fruit yet.

I am cognizant of portions and choosing not to eat starchy things -- green peas are safe in my presence.

I am choosing to use heavy cream in my tea rather than Lactaid but I fear that I am going to have to stop that because the cream is giving my tummy fits.  And I feel I need to add more fiber to my diet. 

I am trying to channel my teeny tiny mother from beyond and I feel she is speaking to me.  She never ate an early breakfast -- or hardly any breakfast at all and if she ate toast with her coffee she wouldn't eat a sandwich at lunch.  Most times she didn't eat lunch which probably wasn't good -- she was a smoker and I think that controlled her appetite.  She didnt bake much and she didn't buy lots of cookies or desserts at the store.  When she did, I don't remember having an uncontrolled desire for them.  All this sweet craving came after I was an adult.  Unfortunately, we did drink soda which I gave up years ago now. 

When Mom cooked dinner we had a meat, starch, two veg or a veg and a salad.  I asked her why she planned meals that way -- she said she learned it in school.  We went to the same schools and had a lot of the same teachers so when I took Home Ec. in the 7th grade, I learned that method of meal planning from the ancient Home Ec. teacher who was probably ancient when my mother had her.  Actually she was only about 45 when I had her but in the 60's I believe 45 was the new "old crone".  Anyway, I digress.  That is still how I plan meals but I am leaning more toward a meat/salad/veg.  My husband is diabetic and he doesn't need the starch.

I have also retrained myself to not eat between meals and not eat after dinner.  Growing up I never ate between meals (they didn't let us snack at school) and after dinner my mom cleaned up the kitchen and there weren't going to be any dirty dishes.  Period.

So, now that I have been on Keto for a month or so, I have completely wrecked my digestive tract although I have felt, generally, much better.  I have kicked the cookies to the curb, I have learned the joy of cream.  I have learned that I miss my morning cereal but am adding some plain oatmeal back in.  I know that my body isn't working as well without my dried fruit and pecans as a snack but I have given up snacks so those items will probably have to be part of a meal.

I am eating no more than 1200 calories a day and I feel that I am eating better quality food (cookies aren't good quality).  I feel better.  I look better and my neck looks thinner -- that is a big deal for me.  I feel like I am doing the right thing for myself. 

I feel that calorie control is a better option for me because I can generally eat any variety of food I want.  I think that, if given the freedom to do so, my calorie controlled diet will actually be more Keto anyway if I am choosing to spend my calories on less processed foods. 

I guess basically it just comes down to choice and I am trying to make better choices, more nutritionally intelligent choices.  I am journaling my food just to see the choices I am making.  I am paying attention to portions.  I am trying to be smart.

I guess if I just keep gaining/losing the same two pounds that is just natures way of telling me that life is funny and my body is a joke! 

But at least I don't want cookies anymore and that, folks, is what I did this summer.