When I was wee one, I had a magnificent internal clock. My eyes flew open at 6:30 a.m and my face fell flat asleep at 9 pm regardless of where I was. The things of life — school, dates, children, etc., — messed with my internal clock to the point that I was always tired. And hungry.
I realized then how far I had strayed from a routine. Back when my kids were little and my husband was working, there was a flow — things to be done, a timeline to the day and requirements like laundry HAD to be done or there were no clean uniforms and I was not sending my children to school in reworn uniforms. Then came the sudden and unanticipated retirement — thank you corporate restructuring — no cake, barely a nod for all the years put in but that is another story — I figured it wouldn’t affect my daily routine which had already changed significantly when the children dared to grow up and move out. But, change it did. And I thing this change has contributed to my anxiety.
So, here we are both older and less physically fit and me worrying about everything I can imagine so what do I do?
I make a list. In my journal. And I check things off.
I have developed a nice little morning routine which I have been keeping up consistently. I have even added a few things to it because I have been looking for the proper time of day to do things - I know that sounds mysterious and cryptic. Basically I have been looking for the time of day to take a shower that really suits my natural routine. Seems that is about 6:30 in the morning. It is working out beautifully.
I am better at doing things in the morning. Once lunch rolls around I am pretty much done. So I tried to get the “stuff” done early which is hard since I have a too-big house but I don’t try to get it all done at once. I have a list of things to do on the daily and then I spread the stuff out over the month. I have two guest rooms that don’t get used so they only get cleaned once a month, unless somebody is coming. I have been taking the time to clean out and declutter lots of stuff, one whole end of my house is decluttered and I feel so accomplished. Now if I could just bring myself to get rid of all the magazines I would be golden.
So, what does any of this have to do with my anxiety issues? Well, let me tell you. I have something — the journal and the list — to focus on. I have found that if I stay busy I will have less anxiety, not so much time to sit around and think about any and all things to worry about! I also feel a bit like my younger self, not so dottering and old and more like I am capable of keeping up. And I am finding out that if I write down when I am anxious and what is going on at the time I can pretty well identify where my anxiety comes from.
And…the journal and the list makes me feel like I am in control of things and my intrusive thoughts — I can talk myself out of thinking weird and wild things (like is that loud plane going to explode over my house) and once I write it down, it goes away.
So, keeping the journal, delving into self care a lot and having a to-do list has made all the difference in the world — I get up in the morning and know my list is there and what I need to do, I stay on top of things and I feel accomplished and useful and THAT is the magic of routine.
6 comments:
For so many years I was in the kitchen before 7am making the days first cups of tea, taking them back to the bedroom to drink while I got dressed and ready for the day .. And keeping going till 11pm when my other half made the last cups of tea, and brought them upstairs...Now we're retired I'm conscious that I still wake early, but usually fall asleep in the chair at 9. We both get more tired, especially if on grandparent duty. Learning to respond to our energy levels has really helped - if the evening will be busy, we deliberately take a rest after lunch. And like you, we've found that building in some regular routines helps. If we have got to the stage of retirement, let's be positive about enjoying this time!
I absolutely need the structure that routine provides. I do envy your ability to sleep...it's a blessing. GM
Interesting post. I’ve found it easier to create a routine which suits me has been easier in retirement. I still have things which I need to do to fit in with other people but they are far fewer than in my earlier years. I can respond more to my body clock. I’m a rather extreme lark: I am happy to get up at 4am but by 8pm I’m more of a dead duck than anything. Last night I was wide awake again by midnight so I knitted for a couple of hours.
One person whom I have to organise myself for is my home enhancer (cleaner) who comes fortnightly. A couple of days before she comes I start to tidy the house properly and I ding that discipline helpful in stopping me from sliding into complete slobdom. (I think I invented a new word there!)
Is your anxiety journal something which was designed for the purpose? If so, what activities does it suggest?
Hi, Angela! Thanks for stopping by. Yes, I agree we have to listen to our bodies and “read” our needs. I think as we age (which I seem to be doing at an alarming pace) we have to learn to rest when we need to so we can continue to be functional. And yes, grandparent duty is exhausting! I have a friend who is my exact age (73) who is trying to care for an infant — a rather large little boy infant) and her back is going along with her energy and her good disposition! Fortunately my grands are getting big — also at an alarming rate — so my involvement is less physical and more mental which can be a challenge in and of itself. Nothing quite like a 13 year old who fancies herself a fashionista social butterfly!
Hi, Granny! Well, I never sleep through the night anymore — 2 -3 trips to the “little” room, a snoring dog, and wobbly husband getting up but when I am asleep the world could explode and I wouldn’t know it!
Hi Mary! It is so good to hear from you! Ah, you are one of those who cleans up for the cleaner! I wish I had a cleaner! My brother in law asks me if I have “help” and I say yes, of the “live-in” variety — I live here and I clean — sometimes but I do identify with your new word - I like it! The journal is just a little 5X8 blank journal (lined). I sort of divide it into sections for my morning routine, my evening routine, my goals for the day and then I have room to write down if I have anxiety and what it is causing it, what I am doing about it, etc — a diary of sorts. When I am done with this journal I am moving on to a planner/binder — just a small notebook with a calendar and daily ages to do just about the same thing. I started journaling my food because I desperately need to lose weight but journaling food causes me anxiety so I decided to try intuitive eating again which will be my next blog post. FYI — I am failing miserably at it.
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