Determination

I survived the great covid shot reaction and lived to tell the tale.

I did a lot of thinking while I was sitting around being miserable yesterday and I had a conversation with a cousin and I made a resolution to do things differently and I am determined. I discussed it with my husband this morning since he is with me in most of my endeavors and he agreed.  Ha! I don’t know if he realized what he agreed to because it was very opened ended but he agreed so here we go.

Anybody who has read this blog for awhile knows I have mobility issues.  I assume it is due to inherited tendencies, years of dancing and too much, uh, me.  So, I have taken to sitting around, being very sedentary and just crying in my beer so to speak.  That is changing today.  I am fat, I am bored and I am stiff and I crack when I walk like the Rice Krispies commercial of the past — but mostly bored. So I am making an activity plan — a routine like I used to have when my kids were little — you know, laundry one day, grocery shopping another….blah, blah, blah, like the poem of my childhood.  I have discovered, with my anxiety journal, that I am a creature of routine — I need it, I thrive on it and if I don’t have it I am just treading water and sinking fast.  So, I decided that today we would go to the grocery store….well, I had to start somewhere.

.  I absolutely hate going to the grocery store.  Mostly because I can’t walk long distances and the grocery stores are huge but I decided this morning to do this —

So I flufffed out my tutu, grabbed my cane and drove myself to the grocery store, partner in crime in tow.  We also made a stop at Home Depot and Target.  You can’t leave the house without going to Target, it seems.

So, we did our usual thing and each got a basket, walked the store and picked up what we needed/wanted and met at the checkout.  That was when it got slightly hellish — 

There was one regular checker.  There were two people in line each pushing a basket with roughly half the items in the store in each. We discussed going through the self check but I had a little bit of produce and I hate weighing the produce and trying to look it up and all that but the one checker line was going VERY slowly so we bit the bullet and went to the self check which was full and we still had to stand in line.  

We were checking along and it was glitching every couple of items and the machine kept saying “help is on the way” and I didn’t know why I needed help and the lady who was clearly the “help” was dealing with everybody else whose machines weren’t working and she finally got to me and upon checking my scanning she informed me that garlic was sold by the piece not by the pound and that was why the machine glitched and I couldn’t scan my pork chops. Well, alrighty. I just smiled and said I was reminded why I hated going to the grocery store but in my mind, this ——

So, we managed to get done without me embarrassing both of us or having Ft. W’s finest called.  We arrived at home, I was not in excrutiating pain from walking, I can actually say I enjoyed the shopping process up until the checking out process, and I am trying to figure out which day of the week is the best, crowd wise, for grocery shopping.  I thought being very early Sunday morning would be great, few people, leisurely shopping, maybe a Starbucks, some flowers — well, anyway, I was wrong — perhaps a Tuesday?  I read years ago that Tuesday is the best day to go to the mall….nobody goes to the mall on Tuesdays.  Of course nobody goes to the mall at all anymore but I digress.

So, that was my first example of determination — determined to not be defined by my arthritis, determined to make myself enjoy things and not give in or give up — shouldn’t be THAT hard as I am a tough old bird.  

What is next on my plan?  Hahaha, funny you should ask.  The dog is going for a walk, with me, outside, in the street, on a very short leash.  I have tried to take her for a walk once, in the street, and it didn’t go well.  I am going to try again.  I know she is bored and I am not a good dog playmate so she needs some sort of stimulation.  Who knows, maybe if we go late enough she will encounter one of the foxes.  That should be interesting!  I will let you know.