I Am Not Going to Lie

I am tired.  It was a somewhat emotional day for me for all sorts of silly reasons.  As most everybody knows, my husband and I babysit Bean on the days she is not in school -- three days last year and two this year.  On the days she was in school we picked her up.  Her last day for Pre-K 4 was last Friday but my daughter was still in school all this week so we had Bean all week.  I am not used to having her all day for five days and I knew I would be tired but I really enjoyed it knowing that next year she will be in school five days a week.  We will be picking her up from school but that is so little time together after having had the privilege of having these two years with her.  It hit me at lunch today -- this would be the last lunch I would be making for her -- the last lunch we would be sharing -- the last intense conversation over lunch.  Oh, I know there will be the odd days I will have her, when she is sick or there are school holidays that don't coincide with her mother's days off but it won't be the same.  Oh, the sadness hit like a ton of bricks.  I now have to adjust to my new reality.  I am sure I will be fine but I will miss her and her antics, the long talks, the reading lessons, surgery on the stuffed animals -- all those things.  She is growing up too fast for me.

After I get done with my pity party I have to play catch up.  I have an email to answer (Bonnie!) and a snail mail letter to answer (Mary!).  I am thankful these two friends are patient because I wanted to wait until I could give these correspondences proper attention -- I don't like to try to answer important letters in a rushed manner and these letters are important.  So, that will be the first on my list of things to do starting tomorrow morning.

Next thing is helping Hubs do a little yard work.  We still haven't replaced the tree that fell down and after looking at the whole of the area, we have decided a complete re-do is in order.  Neither one of us is "into" yard work so we are going to make things easier.  Actually, when we had the landscaping done in the back garden it was in an effort to make things easier but the reality of it is, it just became an over abundance of work that neither one of us wants to undertake.  It has become bigger than the two of us together.

There is some sewing to be done and definitely some de-cluttering.  I have done a lot of reading about minimalism and living with what we really need -- not everything we have collected and I am sure this summer will mean a good look at everything that is stuffed in obscure drawers and closet corners.  Some of that will be started tomorrow as well.

I have plans to do some stitching -- hopefully finishing something and then there is the ever ongoing effort to read through my personal library.  I have enough unread books to keep me busy for years -- absolutely years.  So what do I do?  I go to the library.  I have no more room for books so I was thinking an e-reader would be a great idea and it is but I am finding the books to be a little more expensive than I would like to pay.  I do frequent Half Price Books which is great on price but still doesn't solve the problem of too many books.  Yes, I could sell them back but they give you nothing and I would just as soon donate my excess bookage to the library.  There will be some culling of books and more reading -- always reading. 

So, anyway (as Ellen says)  that is what I have been up to for the last couple of weeks and what my foreseeable future looks like.  Hopefully my energy will bounce back after a good nights sleep and I will get back into some sort of a routine.  After two years of spending the majority of my time at somebody else's house I am going to have to reacquaint myself with my own and try to make it meaningful.  I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time and make it work.

Oh, and by the way, I think the new Col. Sanders of KFC fame is creepy! I don't like it!

Have a wonderful Friday and I will see you on the flip side.

Saint Maybe

I just finished "Saint Maybe" by Anne Tyler.  I am not sure, at all, how to review this book.  I enjoyed it and I would recommend it but I am not sure how to describe my feelings about it.

The story begins with the Bedloe family -- a real Beaver Cleaver sort of group.  They seem to have it all together with the parents, Claudia, Danny and Ian.  Slowly but surely the perfection begins to unravel.  Grandma is plagued with arthritis which is progressive.  Grandpa progresses from a rather opinionated man to a weak man.  Claudia is always just on the sidelines -- married with children and living away.  Danny, who is the focus in the beginning, finds love with the beautiful Lucy who comes complete with a shady past, very little background history and two children, Thomas and Agatha -- and a bun it the oven.  Is the bun Danny's?  We never really know.

As the story progresses, Thomas and Agatha become central to Ian as Ian becomes their primary babysitter and consequently more and more involved in their lives.  More than once Lucy is late getting home which squelches Ian's plan with HIS lady love, Cicely.  Lucy's activities seems shady to Ian and he finally decides that she cheating on Danny.  After one evening of Lucy not coming home in time for Ian to meet Cicely, Danny comes home from a party rather drunk and Ian demands that he drive him home in spite of his altered state of being. During this drive home, Ian, angry because of his ruined evening, tells Danny that Lucy is cheating on him. Shortly after this exchange there is an accident killing Danny.  Everyone thinks it was an accident but Ian thinks it was suicide and he feels responsible.  Lucy's death shortly thereafter causes Ian to believe that he was instrumental in both of their passings which just multiplies the guilt.

One particularly low evening Ian stumbles upon the Church of the Second Chance.  It is a non-mainstream church being conducted from a storefront -- but Ian hears the singing and is drawn in.  Here he finds Brother Emmitt who he confesses to and confides in.  Brother Emmett tells Ian that the way to make things right are to devote himself to the children that he feels responsible for making orphans.  That appealed to Ian's sensibilities and for the next 20 years he devotes himself to raising the children with his parents and becoming a master carpenter.  After his mother's passing and the last child, Daphne's, departure from the home, Ian finds his own life in the form of Rita -- a friend of Daphne and the owner/operator of "Clutter Counselor" -- a company who declutters houses.  She was hired by Agatha, now a physician living in California with her husband, to do something about the hoarding conditions that have come to be the norm in the Bedloe household. 

The book ends on an upbeat note with everybody having found their way and happy but for a bit it was a little depressing.  Not depressing enough to stop reading it but you could definitely feel Grandma going downhill health wise, you could feel Grandpa aging, you could feel -- and hear in their voices -- the children growing up -- but at the end it was all ok -- they had made full circle and it proved to be a very satisfying read.

Generations

I dabble in family history.  I have for a long, long time.  The internet has made is much easier to find information and photos and unknown living relatives.  Last night I was checking my Ancestry.com account and my DNA results which are ever changing.  I found a new photo of my great great grandmother as a young woman.  I have photos of her as an older woman, in 1942, but this was was taken probably in the 1870's.  The thing about it was -- it was like looking at my mother.  I might be the only one that sees the resemblance but it was so obvious to me.  I was so thrilled with the find that I thought I would share it here. 

My mom -- somewhere around 1940

My grandmother -- not sure of the year

My grandmother's grandmother

I had to blow this last photo up because it is quite small so obviously the quality is compromised.  My cousin, JLSHall is going to try to photoshop it a bit do clean it up.

Anyway, my great great grandmother is Choctaw Indian -- at least half.  It seems that side of my family married into Indian communities regularly as there are many instances.  Yes, my Ancestry DNA still says I have no Indian blood.  This great-great grandmother had a daughter who was born on an Indian reservation between San Marcos and Austin and her Indian name was Poison Ivy.  She went by Ivy. 

So, that is my most recent genealogical find.  Aren't family trees wonderful?  Isn't DNA amazing.  Isn't the resemblance in these photos uncanny? I think so.

Move Over Lilly -- here's Nona!

A few weeks ago there was a Lilly Pulitizer for Target launch.  There were many clothing and household items.  It didn't go well.  Many of the children's items were scooped up by individuals with the intent to resell on ebay.  My daughter is a fan of LP and was going to buy one of the dresses for her daughter online. It didn't happen.  The online service didn't work and eventually crashed.  There was great gnashing of teeth.  Not by me.  I couldn't have cared less.  I don't stand in lines, I don't hover over the "shopping carts" online. 

However, I decided to come to the rescue so I scoured my stash for something bright colored.  I went through patterns to see if I could find a simple, shift dress in a size 5.  I had one by Burda.

This is the final result.

Apparently this filled the bill.  I did learn, however, that Joann's, at least the one I go to, doesn't stock hemming tape anymore.  I guess with surgers and such people don't use it anymore.  Anyway, the kiddo wore the dress to church yesterday, declared it very comfortable, requested more so I guess it was a success.

Hi! Remember Me? Cold, Tornadoes and a Book Review

Yes, I know....I have been a very inconsistent blogger of late.  However, I have been very consistently ill! Good to know I am keeping on top of SOMETHING!  For the last week I have had what I thought was a really bad allergy attack but I have come to believe it was a ....drumroll, please....cold.

 An old fashioned cold.  I haven't had one in so long I didn't recognize it but I do believe that is what it was.  It seems to be leaving me now even though I was still running a low grade temp last night.  I seem to be more normal today although a bit battered.  Hopefully the rest of May will be uneventful.

I say that as we are facing severe weather the next three days.  If I were looking for an adjective to describe Texas to a non-Texan I would have to say "extreme".  We are extreme.  We never seem to do things moderately.  We don't just have a "line of thunderstorms" passing through -- we have multiple tornadoes and flooding and people drowning in their storms shelters and storm shelters popping out of the ground -- I mean, we rarely just have a day.  Oh we, do but they aren't very often or memorable.  So, I sat here last night watching the weather reporting through every commercial break showing us where the "hook" is, where the rotation is going.  I didn't feel well.  I contemplated getting dressed and finding my serviceable shoes -- something I haven't done for the last three days -- but decided against it.  I decided that if it were meant to be I would just be blown to Oz because I couldn't be bothered.  We didn't get a tornado where I live but there were signs of them closeby.  We did get a lot of wind and rain which blew under my back door.  I just spread out some towels and went to bed.  It is a lovely day today with more excitement promised for this evening.  Yay.

Photo off the internet -- don't know who to credit but thanks!

Not feeling well, no energy, and bad weather has given me time to do some reading.  I have always been the sort that hones in on a particular author and then set out to read everything they have written.  I have my favorite authors just like everybody does, I am sure.  However, the other day I had finished a book and was looking for something new to read and ran across an article about Anne Tyler.  It was interesting.  I then set out to read a blog by mlhall.com and lo and behold, he had written a review of an Anne Tyler book so I took that as a sign.  I went to my neighborhood Half Price Books and picked up two AT titles -- "Back When We Were Grownups" and "Saint Maybe".  I began with the first and was immediately drawn in.

This is the story of Rebecca.  Rebecca with Will.  Rebecca with Joe.  Rebecca with four daughters.  Rebecca at 53 who discovers she has become a completely different person.  I could identify on any number of levels.  The book is so well written it was a joy to read.  The dialogue flowed beautifully, the humor natural, the descriptions were beautiful.  I could just envision the brownstone -- The Open Arms -- in all its dilapidated glory.  The family interaction is so, well, normal -- this could be anybody's family.  It was a great read -- it wasn't a mystery but it was definitely "cozy".  I would definitely recommend and I was sorry to see it end.  I have already started on "Saint Maybe" and it already has me hooked.

But...you have to feel sorry for Will.  That is all I am going to say.

So, folks, that is what I have been doing.  Not much, actually and trying to play catch up today.  Thankfully I feel good enough to do that.  Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all my mom readers.

First Communion

Being brought up in the church I have always known about communion -- first and otherwise.  My first communion was in 1957 in Asbury Methodist Church, San Antonio, Texas.

When I went there the carpet was blue

We had just built the "new" sanctuary, pictured above, and I was the first one to be baptized and take communion at the new altar rail.  It was quite an honor.  My mother was concerned that I was only seven, four years shy of the accepted "age of accountability" of eleven but our pastor, Brother Cox assured her that my decision -- and it was my decision -- was fine. 

My husband was raised in Northside Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas and was a member there until we married and he became Lutheran.

Fast forward to age 16.  I was disenchanted with the church I had been in since birth so I went "church shopping".  I landed in one of the biggest churches in town with a very large youth group which I never participated in.  The church was Concordia Lutheran Church, San Antonio.  I am probably sitting in the back of that second photo, left hand side as you are facing it, as that was my usual spot but I can't exactly locate myself in that very crowded photo.

Hubs and I married here and our babes were baptized here and we decided to go church shopping again in the mid- 1980's.  After a few years at Redeemer Lutheran in San Antonio we ended up at Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church, in San Antonio and stayed there until we moved in 1990.  Mt. Calvary is where my son went through his first communion and confirmation training.

 He was under the tutelage of Pastor Kim DeVries -- a wonderful pastor, so good with kids.  He passed away just last year.

1990 found us in Fort Worth, Texas -- not a heavily Lutheran area in the midst of the Bible Belt. We finally settled in on Christ Lutheran Church and this is where my daughter took her first communion and had her confirmation.  I would love to show you a photo but by the time my daughter reached confirmation age the church had sold its building of many years and was then located in a store front. 

About this time I had two ailing parents which required much care, regardless of the day.  I pretty much ceased going to church.  I was also put off by the politics that were alive and well in the Lutheran Church so I just decided to take the time off to re-evaluate my thoughts on all things "church".

Even though my children were raised in the Lutheran Church, they were Catholic School educated.  I knew that even though I was going through a religious "situation" they would be fine as they were very deeply entrenched in the Word. 

My son was in college by this time and also doing his own religious exploration.  I didn't really know about it until he told me about the church he was going to that was originally an Episcopal Church that had gone back under the wing of the Roman Catholic Church.  He loved it.  It didn't surprise me.  He left the Lutheran Church to be Roman Catholic.  I was fine with his decision.  We didn't see him join this church, he didn't want us there.  I think this was just a journey he had to take on his own.

About the same time my daughter was going through a journey of her own.  She didn't want to be Lutheran any longer so she started going to St. John's Episcopal Church with a friend of hers.  By this time my parental dynamic had changed and I was missing church.  I had done my "thinking" and was ready to move back into the realm of church but I knew I didn't want to go back to the Lutheran Church so I started attending St. John's with my daughter.  I felt like I had come home. My husband was on a long term assignment in Canada and when he returned for good he wanted to be filled in on everything that had happened that nine months.  I told him we converted. 

So, we all settled into our church homes and then the weddings commenced and the babies came and that brings us up to current time.

Our eldest grandchild and only grandson is now eight years of age.  Last Sunday he received his First Holy Communion at St. John the Apostle Catholic Church.

It was lovely.  I shed a tear.  That little baby that I kept for a while was growing up way to quickly.  I would post photos of him but his parents prefer that his photo not be put on the internet unless it is by the school.

We had a lovely lunch with them at Brio Tuscan Grille in Southlake. It was delicious!

There was cake.

Our gift to the man of the hour was a hand tied Rosary (hand tied by me -- I love making these rosaries -- it is absolutely theraputic to sit and tie those knots). The twine comes from a company called Divine Twine, the instructions from a website called Rosary Army and the crucifix came from James Avery Jewelers, a Texas based jewelry company.

And, last but not least, the proud parents of the young man.  I don't really talk about my son often because they are very private people but I am so proud of him and I love him so much and I can't help but post this photo.

And I would be remiss if I didn't share this photo as well.  I speak often of the Hubs and I post rather unflattering photos of him in the yard and such so I thought I would share this one.  As I was taking it he was instructing me on the fine art of photography.  I didn't listen.  So, here is the Hubs.

I wish I could post some photos of the grandson but I can't so I will leave you with this final pic -- my daughter and son-in-law also known as Bean's parents.

It was a good day, a good meal, good company and I was thrilled to be a part of it.

Why?

The question circulating amongst bloggers the last couple of days is "why do you blog".  My answer is multi-faceted.

When I was a child I was a voracious reader.  As as result I liked to write stories.  When I was in high school I did very well with creative writing and enjoyed it enough to continue as an adult.  However, as my family grew and my responsibilites became more numerous the writing went to the bottom of the list of priorities. 

One day my son mentioned that his friend, Tuesday, had a weblog.  I had no idea what that was so I started exploring.  I was fascinated and started reading blogs and then I decided I wanted one for myself.  So, in July of 2006 I wrote my first blog post.  My writing was sporadic and was broad based -- I didn't adhere to any particular theme like some bloggers do.  I just wrote about what was in my head at the moment -- that might explain some of the random posts -- there wasn't much in my head! However, it was an outlet to do a little creative writing. I enjoyed it as it wasn't a huge commitment of time.

Somewhere along the line the whole concept of blogging changed for me.  I wasn't using it as a venue for creative writing anymore.  I was using it as a place to discuss interests.  As a result I was also reading more blogs and making comments and having discussions with people that came from all over the world.  It was fascinating to find people who were interested in the same things, struggling with the same things, talking about the same things all over the globe and there was no concern about race, age, or financial circumstances.  It definitely made the world a smaller place for me!

Now, I blog for the community of it all.  I don't have a huge following probably because my posts are so varied -- and sometimes I just don't have a lot to say.   I like to do book reviews and I like to talk about cooking and crafts but what I mostly like is keeping up with my blog friends and family. I check my bloglist every morning and I love seeing what Mary, Bonnie, Gill and  Jane have been up to.  I keep up with Joy and Michael and their new life in the Hill Country. I love seeing the photos of the houses, the babies, the pets, the decluttering, the crafts.  Every morning when I sit down with my toast and tea I feel like I am having coffee with my friends.  If they haven't posted I worry about them.  I feel like I can confide in them and share my feelings without judgement. It doesn't matter where they are from, if they are younger or older or their circumstances -- they are interesting and I enjoy their company.

So, that is why I blog.  Surprised? 

Uh-oh, Sick Bean

Can't believe it has been so long since my last post but things have been busy.  Today is no different.  Hubs and I babysit full days on Tuesday and Thursday and just do after school pick-up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Well, I got a call a bit ago saying that Beanie is sick and our services are needed so off we go up north for the day.  Thankfully it isn't a repeat of the stomach virus but rather a sore throat.  Strep seems to be going around so we are hoping it isn't that but I am sure we will be visiting the doctor before too long. 

So, when I get back -- or if she falls asleep this afternoon -- I will be back to answer the question "why?".  I have been giving it some thought -- blogging that is -- and my answer will probably be surprising.

So, until later, have a wonderful day.  Back soon!

April -- The Gift that Just Keeps Giving or Gotta Love Texas Weather

We had a line of thunderstorms roll through last night about 7 p.m.  There were 80 mph winds roaring through my backyard.  It was black as pitch and the trees were blowing so hard they were almost touching the ground.  Hubs heard a thud and....well, the photos are self explanatory.

 

So, yeah, I got nuthin' to say.  

Ouch, Damn! and Treacherous

Look quickly because before too long it is going to be a thing of the past.  I am not a gardener.  I never said I was.  It wasn't part of the marriage contract.  And now I have gimpy knees.

My husband used to tolerate yard work but never loved it.  I think it was forced on him so much as a child that he really has no use for it.  If we could have an apartment with a woodworking shop he would be content.  I don't blame him.  So, when we moved to this house in 2005 he was thrilled that the HOA dues included mowing of both the front and the back yards.  That was especially good for us because we have one of the biggest lots in this garden home community.

Well, somewhere around 2007 we decided we needed something besides just grass.  Now, let it be said that I am fine with just grass but it was a little plain with just grass and a wood fence.  Stark is probably a better word.  So, we called in a landscaper and had a good deal of work done.  We extended the patio and had quite a bit of greenery put in.  It was lovely and it was all LITTLE.

Over time we have lost some bushes, some have been damaged in the weather and some things we just lost interest for.  We have replaced, changed and added new stuff.

  

Skullcap

 The ongoing problem involves a vine -- well, two actually.  One must be called "ouch, damn" because that is what my husband says every time he tries to pull it out because the thorns are rather big and painful, even through gloves.  We don't know the name of the other one so my husband has not so fondly nicknamed it "Treacherous".

 

"Treacherous"

Neither responds to any sort of removal technique.  They are prolific and have grown in and around and over everything.  Keeping this huge flower bed has become a complete nightmare.  Now, if we lived in a more temperate area where gardening could be more or less a three season activity it would be one thing but here it is too extreme and the gardening season is actually pretty short unless you want to completely die in 104 heat trying to wrestle with Ouch, Damn and Treacherous.  Neither of us like to do that so we are going to have to do something else.

We talked about just removing everything except for the holly trees and just planting grass again.  I am sort of up with that but I think he hates to do that so we are going to take everything out except for the hollies, crab apple, Japanese maple and hackberry and plant Asiatic jasmine as a ground cover and call it done.  We will be keeping the big rocks though.  I am done with flower pots and hanging baskets and all that sort of thing.  I want to hose the patio down, get a beverage and sit down and just enjoy green.  We will be keeping the big blue pots by the gazebo because they work well with purslane.

It looks under control but it isn't -- SO overgrown

You can't see the plants because of Ouch,Damn and Treacherous

Magic Mushrooms -- yum!

The Farmer in the Dell

This is a huge Hawthorn bush that is totally covered by that Asian something or other

Screwy Japanese Maple Tree-- part of it died and broke and now we have this -- it may turn into Japanese Maple Bush

from the backside looking back at the house

While I was out giving direction (haha!) I was looking around at the rest of the yard.  I am not an outdoor girl so I am usually surprised by what I find out there.  I heard a good deal of chirping -- like an argument -- and saw two female cardinals flying at each other.  When I walked closer each flew into a separate tree.  I think they each have a nest.  Then, I heard more chirping and looked up to see a large male cardinal.  Maybe it was him they were fighting over?  Hmm..

not a good picture but this is the male cardinal and he was pretty big

Then, there was a squirrel running amok around the yard and over the fence.  I don't see squirrels regularly as we have no pecan trees around.  If I see them they are only passing through.

Apparently as my husband was pruning and trimming he found a spot where something has dug under the fence to the property behind us.  I am thinking that is the passageway of the racoons that run through the yard.  We have had racoon, coyote, fox and rabbit in our yard.  However, since they built the apartment behind us we don't get to see those things anymore, just people coming in off the street dumping trash in the dumpster that the developers thought would be well placed right behind my house.  Yes.  Another story.

So, anyway, look closely because I think all of this is going to be history and I can't say as I mind.

Playing

Remember childhood?  Remember playing?  I loved jacks, jump ropes and playing hopscotch.  I was afraid of roller skates and couldn't keep up with that darn skate key to save my life. I loved reading and coloring and playing games. Many hours were spent building a play house with quilts and lawn chairs under the gardenia bush with my cousin.  What happened to playing?

Oh, wait! We still play, don't we?

Sure we do! My playing tends to be more of the artistic variety these days but it is still playing.  I quilt and cross stitch and I am toying with the idea of making some cards.  I have even starting collecting a few tools for the projects -- rubber stamps, paper punches and such.

And, I still color.

I love these coloring books for grownups -- they are so detailed.  And I absolutely LOVE Crayola colored pencils.

Ok, there is one other thing I do to play.  Not many people know this but I doodle.  Being the extremely untalented daughter of a pretty darn talented artist I kept my artistic endeavours to coloring and writing -- I like to write as well.  I always wished I had inherited the artistic gene but alas, it wasn't to be so I just avoided the whole situation.  Fast forward to the last couple of years.  Bean likes to draw and I think she will be a good little artist with time and a bit of training.  She likes company when she draws so I draw with her.  I have learned that doodling, even if it isn't great art, is very relaxing and theraputic.  I can easily get lost in it. I have also learned that it doesn't really matter if it is fine art -- if it is enjoyable that is all that matters.

So, I thought I would introduce you to Arlo.  I love Arlo.  He is so....well...round.  And sweet.  He has a female counterpart named Gwendolyn but I couldn't find her.  She is round as well.

There is a boat on the page behind and you can sort of see it -- not part of Arlo

I am sorry he is a bit blurry -- my hands shake a little bit and I sometimes I have a hard time holding the camera still.


This is Arlo and Gwendolyn's tree.

And a couple of their BFF's

Hee hee -- they are so bad they make me laugh! I am such a silly ol' broad!