Jazzed Up

I decided I want it to be spring.  I don't have that kind of power in the real world but I do have that kind of power over my blog.

So, I jazzed it up for spring. 

Snazzy, don'tcha think?

Self Care

Self Care -- sounds Self-Ish, doesn't it?  Apparently it is a buzz word amongst the Millennials.

I am neither -- selfish or a millennial.

However, I am a boomer and a female and that means that I was raised with a 50's sit-com mindset -- like vacuuming in heels and pearls.

I was raised by a mother who believed the house should be clean -- all the time -- and the meals should be cooked -- from scratch -- by her and that she could solve everybody's problems.  My mother was a woman who was the consummate caretaker.

She took care of everybody but herself.

Even though I became a wife and mother in the 70's, my mother's beliefs were firmly imbedded in my brain.

I became a caretaker.

I became last.


My parents have gone on to glory and my children have grown up and have families of their own.

Here I am realizing that I should be taking better care of myself.

Physically, yes, but emotionally and spiritually as well.  Changes need to be made.

I am trying to form a few new habits.  New habits are hard to forge -- old habits are hard to break.  It is a conundrum.

I have been following the "moderation" movement life plan for eating.  I have been using "Thin Within" as a guide.  Basically you listen to your body, eat when you are hungry, don't eat when you aren't, and stop when you are comfortable, not full.  Sounds simple.  It is.  But I got the flu and that sort of messed me up and I am trying to get back into the swing.  This method sort of makes you feel guilty -- like if you aren't counting something, or weighing or measuring stuff or keeping a diet journal you must be cheating.  But, you aren't.  You are just being real, normal (yes, there really is a normal), and eating like we used to when were --you know -- kids.  The whole premise is to listen to your body.


After eating this way for a bit I have learned to pay attention to what my body is telling me.  My body doesn't like dairy products.  It upsets my stomach in ways you don't want to know.  If I use milk, like on cereal, I use Lactaid but sparingly.  My body also doesn't like sugar.  That is the tough one and the struggle is real.  I have learned that if my meals are roughly 1/3 protein, 1/3 carb and 1/3 fat, my body is pretty happy.  I try to include each of these in each meal.

Eating isn't the only way to listen to your body.

I am also listening to my memories.  I would love to be thin -- really thin -- and I was at one time when I dieted myself into a waif.  But that wasn't real.  I am not a waif.  I am not real tall, I am square with a thicker, high waist.  I have always been that way.  I have spent too many years trying to be something I am not -- I can't lower that waist no matter what I do so I think I need to be working on acceptance.

I was also raised to believe that you couldn't "play" until your "work" was done -- homework, chores, housework later on -- so as a result -- I never get to "play".  That is changing.  Let's face it, the housework is never finished so I am going to change my attitude and my expectation -- after all, it isn't the 50's anymore!  So, there are certain things I do on a daily basis -- some laundry, the dishes, and I cook one meal a day.  I am abandoning the idea that I have to vacuum and dust the whole house in a day.  My knee won't let me do that  so I am doing a certain amount each day and then that is all.  I can start over again the next day and continue on.  After all -- housework never really gets done, right?

And I will allow myself to "play" everyday, if  just for a half hour.

I have been listening to my body in regards to sleep too.  I used to take a nap and now I don't.  I am suffering for that.  I start falling asleep about 8:30 every night.  I sleep in the chair until I get up and go to bed.  Clearly my body needs sleep.  So, I will be going to bed earlier from now on.

Again, listening to my body.

Another thing that is happening to me is that I am fraught with anxiety.  I am not sure why.  I never used to be but in the last six months I have been really miserable with  anxiety.  Hopefully having play time and addressing my sleep issues with help the anxiety issue.

However, I think that in order to really combat the anxiety I need to look at my spiritual life.  I have made a couple of changes --simple changes but something I am having to concentrate on and make time for.  I always pray at night when I go to bed.  I don't always make it through the whole prayer because of my sleep issues but I do start out my night that way.  Now I have been making the effort to start my day the same way -- before I bound out of bed (I don't really "bound" anymore, creak, creep and crawl is more like it) I like to open my eyes and give thanks for another day.  Nothing long, nothing involved, just a thank you.  I think it sets the tone for the day.

I have also downloaded a different Bible version on my Kindle -- it is called the Christian Standard Bible and it is written in plain English.  I am reading a chapter or two a day.  I really believe that getting into the Word will help my anxiety.  I am not sure that it is the best translation but I am reading it and that is the point.

So, what does self care mean to you?  Spas?  A good cup of coffee?

Yes, I agree, those things are good ways to care for yourself but I think the best thing is to examine how you are spending your time -- are you spending any of it on yourself?  If not, maybe changes should be made -- if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anybody else.

Play?  Play is good for mental health.  Everybody needs to play -- whether it is reading a book or doing a craft or baking a pie -- spend some time doing something that gives you joy.

Physical awareness?  We should all take the time to be aware of ourselves, what our bodies and minds need.  We take care of everybody else's physical needs -- why not our own.

Spiritual needs?  I believe we all have spiritual needs that are just as fundamental to our well being as what we eat.  I honestly believe that in order to be a strong, functional member of society, we need to be in touch with our spiritual selves.  Find a way, find the time, just do it.

So, as you can see, I have been giving a bit of thought about the self-care concept and I believe this is something we can probably all learn more about and improve areas of our life but we can't wait for other's to do it for us -- this is all about us.

So, just do it.

Just a Couple of Things

My husband loves Celtic music.  I should with my ancestry and I do but it makes me want to cry.

I have a cousin who was adopted into the family back when she was a baby in 1957.  She has unfriended me from Facebook (she got mad at me) and she acts like she is a member of the family and I am not.  I am not exactly sure what to do with this so I am going to leave it here.

I am toying with the idea of sewing clothes for myself again.  It didn't work when I was a svelte little thing -- I doubt it is going to be any better now.  Maybe I should stop thinking about this.

I decided to vacuum today.  I am ashamed to say that I don't vacuum very often.  I believe it is good exercise though and I should do it every day.  It really wears me out.

We are having winter again.  A couple of days ago we were having summer.  I am too old for all this changing about.  I hate to think about changing the time again ....too old for that as well.

When I get finished vacuuming, I am going to sit down and read and read and read and then....

I am going upstairs to find a cross stitch project.

Something about moving has made me interested in doing all the things I used to do.  I think I feel energized here and my other house depressed me.  I have no rational reason for that.

I am having sushi for lunch!  Yay!

PS -- should I jazz up my blog?

The Good News Is --

The good news is that I found my camera charger and case!  I thought it was gone forever in the move but the truth of it is, they never GOT moved so I found them at the other house.  WhooHoo!

So, in celebration I decided to take a couple of snaps of certain things in our new abode.  It was difficult to get pics of hardly anything because of the boxes still stacked about but I managed to get a couple.

The dining table spoken of in an earlier blog

Fireplace and just ignore the Christmas ornament hanging from the ceiling fan -- NOT MY DOING!

Entryway -- sorry about the moving boxes -- just ignore those as well

So, there is a brief glimpse at our new digs.  I am being steady and slow getting things unpacked but steady and slow wins the race -- right?

Blogger -- There's a Problem

Ok, not a problem with blogger -- just a problem with THE blogger.

I have been getting comments that I didn't understand because they are in a different language with a different alphabet.  I decided I needed to moderate my comments so I did the little clicky thing to do just that.

Then I forgot I did it.

Then, this morning, I decided there was something wrong because I had no comments and that is not the usual.   So, I took a closer look and what do you know.  There is a label "comments awaiting moderation" or something like that.

Clicked on it and there are my comments! 

So, I have published them and will be responding and apologize profusely.

I may be awhile as I have to care for a Bean with an earache today.  But, I am really looking forward to reading them.

I was so lonely and felt so abandoned.  Now I just feel rather dumb.

It's all good!

Shoes -- A Problem

For some reason, back in November, my knees have gotten considerably worse with arthritis.  Bad enough to send me to an orthopedic surgeon where I was given a cortisone shot and told to exercise my knees.  I am a candidate for knee replacement surgery sometime in the future but not now -- and if you ask me, not ever.

I am pretty sure I have arthritis in all my joints but because I am heavier than I should be I think it is hitting my lower, weight bearing joints the worst.  My left ankle is giving me a lot of trouble right now.  I have had three severe sprains in it and now that I seem to be giving to my knee a great deal it is acting up as well.

I am a structural hot mess.

So, I am noticing that one pair of shoes that I wear frequently is making things worse for my knees and my ankle.  This is them --

They are very easy to slip on and off and they look nice on my feet but there is absolutely no support and I guess they have stretched a bit because my feet slide all over in them making my ankle and knee wobble.  Mostly my ankle.

I have a pair of Clark's flats that work fairly well -- they are so old I can't find a photo of them!

I have a pair of Grasshopper ortho-lites that feel ok but with my high arches I don't do well in lace up shoes but it seems that if I am not in the ones pictured above, I am in those.

The problem is that I think all of my shoes are making my foot issues worse.

I am thinking of trying Tom's.  I need something I can just slip on.  I am afraid I inherited my father's feet and he couldn't wear lace -ups either. 

Suggestions anybody?

What Goes Around Comes Around -- My House

That old saying, "what goes around comes around" usually refers to your actions being revisited on you.  Today, I am using it in regards to my house.

My husband and I were married in 1972 -- the era of avocado green, harvest gold and pumpkin.  None of them my favorite colors.  However, we did use them because, like everything else, that was what was popular so that is what we could mostly get.

I came into the marriage with an Early American bedroom suite -- mine from childhood (although it wasn't childish) complete with a four poster bed, a dresser with mirror and a chest of drawers.

This bedroom furniture set the tone for future purchases and, before too long, we had  an apartment full of Early American furniture thanks to a manufacturing company known as Tell City Furniture.

Our first purchase together was a drop leaf table.

This is not my table but it is the same table.  My husband liked the table but he wasn't crazy about the fact that I set up an account, in his name, at a local furniture store and purchased this table, in his name, before he even had a job right out of college.  I think he feared that was how things were going to go.  His fear was validated.  The table now sits in my new dining room.

So, ten months after we were married we bought our first house -- a little, mid-century tract house in the neighborhood in which my husband grew up and only a few blocks from where I grew up.  A larger space required more furniture.  One of the pieces we purchased was this table for our kitchen.

Yes, this was another Tell City piece that has served us well for many years. It is now sitting upstairs and being used as a game table.

So, as things usually go, we started a family which required us to build on to the house and yet more furniture was bought in the same style and so on it went.  We moved to Ft. Worth in 1990 and acquired a larger house which required a bit more furniture and that is when we strayed from our tried and true Early American style.

It wasn't in style anymore and  you couldn't really find much of it.  So, we did the wrought iron tables with glass tops, lazy boy recliner furniture, new bedroom furniture that was more English than Early American sort of thing -- we became eclectic.

Moving to the next house which was Country French in style and very ornate required us to buy bigger and yet a different style of furniture.  My much loved and used Early American furniture was put into storage after we after we dipped our little pink toes in the pond of sophistication!

Fast forward to now --  we have moved again to a house that is considerably less ornate.  It is bigger but plainer.  The woodwork is not massive and the lower ceilings not coffered.  It is a bigger house yet but much more conventional, straight forward and actually useful.

I needed more furniture so what did I do?

Took all my Early American furniture out of storage and am re-using it in my new house.  I asked my husband why this house seemed so familiar, so comfortable, so homey.  He just looked at me and said "because it looks a lot like our first home, our apartment". And he was right.  I have furnished it with the same stuff, I have put the same sorts of bedspreads on the beds, we now have venetian blinds and not shutters -- yes, it is like coming home again.

Apparently, what goes around DOES come around.

44 Cranberry Point by Debbie Macomber

Well, it seems I am deeply entrenched in the Cedar Cove series by Debbie Macomber as well as the Agatha Raisin series by M.C. Beaton.

I seem to alternate between both offerings but right now I am focusing on Cedar Cove because, to me, it is written like a soap opera.  It is easy to read and it goes quickly, at least on my Kindle.

I seem to read faster on an e-reader.  Do you?  I wonder why.

I just finished book three, 44 Cranberry Point which focused on Grace and Cliff, Olivia and Jack (of course), and Bob and Peggy Beldon -- and, naturally the mysterious stranger who wound up dead in the Beldon's B&B, Thyme and Tide. 

I am starting on the fourth book, 50 Harbor Street, which, from  perusing page 1, appears to be focusing on the McAfees and the mysterious letters and gifts they have been receiving.  It seems ominous but they can't be sure.  Maybe we will find out in this "episode".

Fortunately I have been able to obtain all but one of these books from my public library on Overdrive.  I love that feature and almost never have a problem finding something that I am looking for.  I have a feeling I am not going to stop reading until I have finished the series.  There are twelve books and some supplementals so it will keep me going for a while.  I hope I continue to be interested in the story lines -- it seems like it would be difficult to keep it going for that long but we will see.

Ok, back to reading!

Isn't it Ironic (Alanis Morrisette)

Life is so full of irony.  I sometimes feel like I live my life in a state of irony, if there is such a thing.

Why would a person who was so bad at math in general and so completely dismal at geometry in particular decide on quilting as a hobby? Hmmmm?

And why would somebody who understand zero, zip, nada about anything electronic love electronic gadgets like computers and cell phones and such?  Hmmmm X 2.

I have an iphone SE.  It takes very nice photos.  I have a Linux driven computer, it works well and I don't really worry about virus's and such.  However, the phone and the computer don't really talk to each other in regards to photos.

In other words I can't get the photos off the phone and onto the computer.  Neither can my genius husband (a bit of a joke there).

SO....this past weekend we were in our hometown laying my mother-in-law to rest.  The last time I couldn't get photos off the phone I swore never to use anything but my trusty little point and shoot Nikon camera.

Well, with the half-move and all I can't find the charger or the case so I decided to just take the phone.  Of course, I had forgotten that I can't transfer the photos.  So.....

Yep, isn't it ironic.

Trying to Get Normal

Normal -- what is that even?  I don't know that there is such a thing as normal since there are probably as many "normals" as there are people.  However, for me, what my life has been since mid-December is definitely NOT normal.  And I am not happy about it.  It has been implied that I am being selfish but I don't think so.

Since we partially moved in mid-December we have had a few glitches along the way which have made it much more difficult than it should have been. 

In the first place, not trusting the moving company, I chose to pack and move by car many boxes.  That was a mistake.  The movers were excellent and I should have just let them take everything.  I should have let them PACK everything.  There won't be a "next move" but if there was I would do things differently in that respect.

Then as I was trying to unpack and plan for Christmas I was slapped upside the head by the flu.  After about week three I was wondering if I was ever going to get over it.  I am still wondering because I don't feel 100% even yet.

Then my mother in law took a turn for the worst and wound up in the hospital in a rapid decline.  I was totally freaked out because the emergency room was completely full -- the hospital was full, actually -- of flu patients.  In the ER they had the gurneys lined up two deep against the walls and in one part of the waiting room.  They were masking everybody and I never felt more exposed in all my life.

My MIL was a week in the hospital when they finally moved her to hospice where she spent less than 24 hours before going home to glory.  That was the easy part.

Then came planning the funeral and burial.  I will tell you that dealing with the military is not an easy task.  She is buried in a national cemetery with her husband but it was a two week wait for the burial and another week for us to have a memorial service which will be this Saturday.  There has been much communication between my husband and the funeral home (she purchased a funeral in 1977!) and the cemetery.  They can't seem to get the names spelled correctly which has been a real source of aggravation for my husband.  Hopefully that has been resolved but not sure.  And the paperwork has been ridiculous but thankfully, in this day and age, it was able to be done electronically and we didn't have to make an extra trip there to get it all tied up.

Then, because this event is out of town (nobody lives there anymore, everybody is scattered) and happening right before lunch, we needed to make plans for lunch for everybody.  The immediate family numbers 33.  Yes, you read that right -- immediate family = 33.  That is children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  There are 5 nieces and nephews coming as well.  There is one restaurant that we know of that could accommodate a party that large so we set about booking it.  Their guidelines are very rigid.  We had to choose a menu because ordering off the regular menu is not allowed.  We have gone round and round trying to plan this gathering.  Honestly, it has been the hardest part.

So, why has it been implied that I am being selfish?  Because I am a tad upset about not being finished moving or being done with unpacking.  I guess it appears that I am thinking about myself and not about the family's loss.  That isn't true but I am finding that the older I get being surrounded by clutter and disorder gives me great anxiety.  I still have boxes stacked up that I am trying to empty but it is a slow go on my own and now I have many of my mother in law's boxes to deal with as well. For every box I unpack, three more come in the door! It will improve this weekend as I deliver boxes of earthly possessions to her children but for now I am just a bit annoyed that my house still looks like moving and storage.  Also, I have asked my husband to relocate some things he unceremoniously dumped on my kitchen counter and he hasn't done it yet (about three weeks ago I asked) because he is trying to help somebody spell his name -- it isn't difficult. 

Hubs has assured me that next week all will be different -- we will be back on track and we can get back on our usual routine.  I am not sure I remember what that was but I do know that I have a lot of appointments to reschedule so I guess I will be doing a lot of that stuff.  And moving.  Some more.

Oh, did I mention that my seasonal allergies have kicked in?

Is it too late for Bah-humbug?

Winter Weather Advisory

Winter in Texas.  It's a mystery.  The last two winters have barely visited us -- very mild, no snow or ice.

Welcome 2018.  We are having our second winter weather advisory of the year.  The first gave us 15 minutes of snow.  The second is current.

We aren't having anything YET but mid-afternoon it is to start raining changing over to sleet and snow around 8 p.m.

I will post photos if it really happens.  I am doubtful but remain cautious.  We went to the grocery store yesterday because I have learned to be safe rather than sorry and you can't, absolutely can't, weather a wintry mix without extra bathroom tissues, milk, bread and cookies.  Thank goodness it is Girl Scout Cookie season and I have five boxes.

Later this afternoon, before the weather comes in, we will be having our Christmas gift exchange with our son and his family -- better late than never I suppose.

The morning will be spent packing more of my mother-in-laws belongings for donation and continuing to unpack our own boxes in our new house.

It has been incredibly busy at Brinkley Cottage.  Perhaps a  "snow day" would be a good thing -- binge watch movies, drink hot cocoa, fire in the fireplace -- maybe that is the purpose of these incredibly cold days -- a way to make us slow down.  I am up for that.